For 18 years, these two definitions clashed in my mind, so I denied being a slave. The impulse to offer myself completely to another person is too overpowering to resist. My first experience with kinky sex happened at Then, there was the first time Devon wrapped his hands around my throat. As he cut off my air supply, waves of an intense orgasm coursed through my body. I remember the initial, instinctive fight to live, as my body felt on the brink of oxygen-deprivation.