There's only one patch of skin on a white man's body that remotely compares to nearly every inch of a black man's skin. The first time I caressed black skin, it felt like a luxury I shouldn't be able to afford. I craved it more strongly than Carrie Bradshaw craved Manolo Blahnik shoes. That phrase, Once you go black, you never go back is all about the feeling of the skin. And I had the socially acceptable explanation for my craving. I used that paucity-of-available-white-partners rationale to explain my relationships with black men for several years. A white woman past forty is often passed over by her white-male contemporaries. She goes younger or ethnic or foreign-born or down the socioeconomic scale or darker or she spends lonely nights at home with her cats.
A thematic analysis constructed five themes: a limited knowledge of intimacy, b domestic barriers to non-sexual intimacy, c exterior barriers to non-sexual intimacy, d in quest of an emotional connection, and e experiencing intimacy. Intimacy barriers and facilitators are discussed. Since Black sexuality has been viewed in contrast to Whiteness Benard, ; Collins, , numerous studies allow framed Black relationships and sexuality as of a perspective of negativity and absence Sobo, ; Williams et al. But, it is important to challenge this assumption with inquiry. Acknowledging these gaps in current psychological literature, this qualitative study examines how Black college students experience intimacy during their first after that last sexual encounters. Additionally, by contribution a balanced view of Black closeness, this paper adds a strengths-focused angle to the current body of creative writing focused on Black relationships and sexuality. Within this overarching definition, components of intimacy can be realized in a choice of ways. Emotional intimacy includes exchanging feelings with another person, which is acutely rooted in the value of self-disclosure Lewis,
The publisher's final edited version of this article is available at Pers Relatsh See other articles in PMC so as to cite the published article. Qualitative interviews were conducted in as part of the Pathways to Marriage study. Recommendations for future research are discussed. Additionally, 7 out of 10 Black women are unmarried and 3 out of 10 may never marry Banks, Thus, the disproportionate number of Black women who are single has been well-documented.