If or when you're in a relationship, do you feel more loved when your partner: Tells you I love you or praises something you did? Surprises you with a meaningful gift? Goes on a weekend trip with just the two of you? Runs the errands or does the laundry? Holds your hand while you're walking? Answering these questions could give you a hint as to what your love language might be. According to Chapman's book, you could also try to recall what sorts of things you ask for in your relationship or consider how you express love to your partner. It's unlikely your partner's love language is the same as yours.